Your parents are in Israel and you are not: arranging care from abroad

Adult children of Israelis live in New York, Berlin, Toronto and London while their parents stayed here. The situation is common enough that the same questions come up every time.

Vetting someone you cannot meet

The minimum you should never hire without: passport and a valid visa, a caregiving work permit showing the licence zone, a police clearance certificate, health insurance. All of it can be requested as scans and checked.

Then references. Ask not for a written testimonial but for two phone numbers of previous employers, and call them yourself. The questions that work: how long did they stay, why did they leave, what did they do when the person got worse at night, were there arguments about the schedule.

And a video introduction. Half an hour with the three of you — you, your parent and the candidate — tells you more than any profile. Watch how the person speaks to your parent, not what they say to you.

Who signs the contract

Electronic signatures are lawful and standard in Israel, so you do not need to be present. If you would rather a relative in Israel attend, that works too.

The contract must be in Hebrew — that is a requirement — with a parallel version in a language you read. It sets out hours, rest days, leave, duties and, separately, what the worker is not obliged to do. That last part prevents most future arguments.

Paying

The caregiver's salary usually goes by bank transfer or through a service like Wise. The friction is rarely the transfer itself but paying an Israeli company with a foreign card. Ask up front whether they accept cards issued in your country and can invoice in your currency.

Knowing things are all right

Agree a regular check-in in writing, before the start date. Once a week: how the week went, a photo, notes on medication and doctor's visits. It is not surveillance — it is how you notice a change before it becomes a problem.

For the first fortnight, make it every two or three days. That is the window in which you find out whether the relationship has taken.

About the guilt

Almost everyone who left carries some, and it is a poor adviser: under its influence people either delay for months or hire the first available person just to close the question. Neither helps their parent.

What helps is arranging the care properly, agreeing how you will stay informed, and letting go of the question of whether you would be a better child if you lived closer.